Traditional Media Companies, Why Do You Suck?

You suck because you keep targeting the same audiences. In the same channels.

You think you’ve got the big picture.

You buy space on Friendster. You go for the same old news websites like The Star. The same old e-commerce websites and message boards. But you keep hitting the same folks, week in, week out.

What’s worse? You don’t target bloggers properly. When you do scope them out, you keep buying space on the same celebrity blogs. You don’t think about other ways to engage people beyond rich media banners.

That sucks. So, you suck.

You also like to buy space before you’ve seen the creative work from the ad agencies.

You say that you’re thinking in the client’s best interests. So, you try to get as much bang for buck as you can.

You devise an online media plan that uses the most intrusive and annoying delivery methods, so you buy the most prominent banner spaces that websites have to offer; skyscrapers, superbanners, leaderboards. In short, you go for all of the usual blind spots.

And you do all of this months before you’ve even seen what the ads look like, months before anyone actually measures how it will affect your audience. When the agency finally gets the brief, we have to design to your banner specifications. Your prearranged file sizes. That sucks. So, you suck.

And lastly, instead of working with us, you’re trying to steal our business.

Come on, man, can’t you get with the program? =P

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3 Comments

Filed under Advertising, Funny, Trends, Web

3 responses to “Traditional Media Companies, Why Do You Suck?

  1. i got 3 words: mow for media.

    there’s been too much bullshit going on over the years and they need a hell of a good mowing. eye blasters? MOW it! pop ups? MOW it! virals? emm… SUFF it!! hahaha

  2. Suffian Rahman

    Yeah man. Enough with the middle man. Enough with traditionalist thinking. It’s time to shape up or ship out.

  3. Pingback: Unlucky Media Buys « (dis)information architecture

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